Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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