if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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