How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
