She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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