Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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