Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
