Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
