She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
