everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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