There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
