I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
