If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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