Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
