Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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