Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
