Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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