im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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