Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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