gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
