I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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