Do you still have your period?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
