I'm so fucking centered right now
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need a beard to bite.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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