you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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