i think i have two assholes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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