So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
