just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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