Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize