I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
