Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
