they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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