There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
