Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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