If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
how drunk are you?
Several
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
