Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize