I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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