What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
