I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just google imaged poop.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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