Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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