she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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