i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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