you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize