if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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