Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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