I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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