I have demons in me.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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