Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize