I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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