Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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