I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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