Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
