i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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