The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
