4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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