she was so not down for the gang bang
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
