called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my shit smells like andre
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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