I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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