you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We had to coat check the pizza.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
