You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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