Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
