Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
