Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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