yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
