okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
